open windows

One swift movement
the scent of summer has shifted

i am about to embark on a 12 day road trip to the west
flying back home from san francisco

i can't wait


it feels good to be alive.

$hadow$peakEasy

August sunsets, sun setting on summer
it's coming to a near end, not yet
train rides to kalamazoo, blissed and back
life renewal, life we now lack
sleeping in the sunshine, hanging with the moon
love with costs, love without thought
lost, found, borrowed and forgotten
broken bruised sorrowful now turned rotten
the trash man can take my can full a maggots
everyday is new, everyday stronger

love it, live it
stop and watch the sunset
pet your dog
say hi to strangers

DOG days of SUMMER

"Keep moving forward without measuring how far there is yet to go."

it's a powerful feeling
the feeling of change,
growth, strengthening and weakening.
weathering, withering with the weather,
taking what comes with the wind.

it's a hot one, here we are deep in summer,
i'm so ready. i'm in it. i love it.


think about the good things.. xo

dream a little

or don't

SURFACE SKIM

LOVE
A heart fully submerged in everything but;


FOCUS ON THE FUTURE,
I've been doing everything but;



LOOK OUT HERE SHE COMES

CONSTANT

crazy, the way things unfold.
i'm a hypocrite. i'm a liar. i'm a fake. i'm insecure. i'm out of control.
So many thoughts constantly weaving in and out, in and out, of the cracks in my mind.
Except when you're around, everything simmers down and washes away no thoughts to be found.
But this was the plan, this is how i wanted it, to stop thinking, stop feeling in preparation for this. this that has happened. this right now. this constant tug at my heart.
and guess what, i truly lost myself for a minute. i was so convinced that my heart was tied down, locked up, until SNAP, i tucked it into your back pocket hoping you'd find it. But now i want it back, i'll take it back. i can take it all back.
i just really don't want to be an inconvenience, a check on your to do list.
it hurts. my bad.
i want someone to want me, not feel obligated to me.
better luck next time.

everything i am is so necessary for my being. you can't pick and choose here
it's all or nothing.
whether it's right or wrong.
live and learn.
love and burn.

when you hurt so deep and the only thing causing it is yourself.

melted

here comes the sun.
waiting for the sunrise.
only a few hours to go.
as the sun comes up today,
you will follow its lead and start a new day.
But for me
the end.

brenna rich, amazing creature, amazing friend/ 29 months sober, still going strong. Today also marks annie's 2 years clean. Such strong. inspirational young women even if they don't realize it sometimes.
Every day counts.

Strive to DO better
things can change so fast,
think [positive], sunshine.

hang low

a few things tangled in my thought web;
1; PURPOSE
{1.the reason for which something exists or is done, made, used, etc.

2.an intended or desired result; end; aim; goal.

3.determination; resoluteness.

4.the subject in hand; the point at issue.

5.practical result, effect, or advantage: to act to good purpose.}
"man’s search for meaning" is the primary motivation of his life[[[
[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[
[my goddamn la[pt[[[[[[[[[[[[o[p[[ is freaking out. later.

2; CHANCE, LUCK, FATE, DESTINY ETC.
I was walking through a parking lot, I am 21 years old and I have yet to be hit by a car- there are millions of cars roaming about, you'd think that would happen alot.
Spark;
Is that luck? fate?

brunch for scrambled brains

who are you to judge/
suffering from the HUMAN condition it's unavoidable
we all do it.
guilty before creation, from the very beginning.
accept what you're given
but strive for more/for better?
perfection is impossible
maybe imperfection is perfection, in my eyes/
making perfection possible, perhaps.
contradictions everywhere, everything
updownrightleftyesnoblackwhiteredbluemaybe
i always have to walk down both streets
and that's where i am today.
half way between lonely usa and paradise
but i think i left my heart out in the snow
waiting for it to thaw
waiting for it's constant warm beat to come back to life.
and it's a whole lot of waiting and seeing
admitting and feeling
i'll cope by painting.
if you find a heart
please call or write
or feed it to your pet.

begin

Sitting here, year 2011, new home, fresh walls to give my flavor.
I'm so terribly excited.
Expect
the unexpected
or just hold your tongue and take what's due.
Hard work pays off
it may take a long time,
but patience is the best virtue.
Stop rushing,
grab a fuzzy blanket
i"m ready to watch it all unfold.
Have a happy week,
you wont see me until the snow melts.
xo